When my husband died my brain simply stopped functioning. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to keep our little daughters lives functioning as they’d always have. Yet, I did. In light of the season that is now finally showing signs of spring I’m thinking of and fretting the yard responsibilities that he always loved to handle. Something that was a little challenging to watch after he left was how the swimming pool that he built to get our girls through COVID slowly wasted away.
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I don’t think the pool was meant to be permanent. If he was here I’m certain that he would have done all the right things to make it as permanent as possible. Or, by the following summer swimming pools might have come back out to market to purchase. Watching the weeds and foliage grow in what was recently a fun family project, highlighted our drastic life change.
This was a visual sign that we was no longer here. Peering out of the window at the overgrown pool was a lot. Looking at the now partial fence that he was going to replace that following spring was a lot. The workload that is now all on me is quite overwhelming. This was his domain. He enjoyed working outdoors, making it pretty for me. Now I had yet another burden to tackle. The girls and I took a couple of pics to say buy to the pool.
To help us with this, Andy came to the rescue again.
As usual he had all of the necessary tools needed to get the job done and we made sure that the girls helped take the swimming pool apart the same way they helped their dad put it together.
Always Grateful
I’m so grateful for the help that I’ve received ever since God took my husband. It certainly momentarily makes the load feel lighter. And the girls are still learning a lot and having all kinds of new experiences with helping out. As I look at the space where the DIY swimming pool was built by my husband, and then taken down by Andy, the girls and I, it gives me a bit of anxiety. In this, I see my changed life, I see having to learn how to grow and maintain grass, I see having to figure out how to get a fence replaced since he’s no longer here to do it. I see future struggles and challenges…and this is just the backyard.
What I also see are two little girls who continue to smile and feel joy. They may never fully understand the weight that I carry now and the weight of how our family is impacted. But their sense of obliviousness at this particular age and time, and constant giggles help me to keep moving forward. So, we’ll see how things continue to go! Here’s hoping easy breezy…Yay for optimism🤷🏽♀️😕
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